1. |
Bleeding Out
01:50
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well they reached inside, grabbed onto your fragile heart and pulled it out. held it up for all to see. they wrung it out. let it drip blood on the floor and threw it down, stomped it into shreds. so would they hear you out? what you’re silently dying to say. could you tell them all to go to hell and step aside? ‘cause now you’re bleeding out. so they pulled the plug on everything that’s good for you. they bled you dry and played your insecurities. they beat you down and stabbed at your decency and greyed you out till there was nothing left. so would they even flinch as you put all the ache aside? you could waste away until they finally find you dead on the bedroom floor. so would they hear you out? what you’re silently dying to say could you tell them all to go to hell and step aside? ‘cause now you’re bleeding out
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2. |
A Late Night Panic
02:16
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middle of the night about a quarter to three. oh, missed opportunities surrounding me. don’t know where, but i’m ready to go. i can’t find a way out. far as i run, you know, i can’t get away. from the only one putting up the blockades. goddamned dead ends and one-ways and i’m peeling fucking way apart every day. now i’m alone again. how could you get me so high and leave me so low? it’s an eruption of negative emotion. it might grind my bones into shit. you’ve got a way with thievery and wouldn’t you know. i can see an end but it’s coming so slow. cranking up the white noise in my head. i wait until you’ve gone away, but where do i go?
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3. |
Empty Bottles on Repeat
02:09
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empty bottles tell the story of a broken heart. whispers float from your pillow case. they’re a work of art. they say to me: too late, too late, it’s through. so now i’m listening to “ache” on my headphones. i put it on repeat with “sluttering.” you know, it’s a living hell. but unlike you, this nightmare’s true. i’m losing you. broken bottles tell the story of my anger well. economy size packs of lies that i could never sell. they say to me: jig’s up, so long, farewell
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4. |
Knife and a Cigarette
02:06
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you walked on that line that must be parallel to mine. you could hear me singing something meant for someone else. separated by a sea of nicotine. you could see that i made up my mind to keep my distance from you. what a price to pay. and so you fell in love with a knife and a cigarette i love the way you abuse your body so i had a dream that i was into you. we fell in love and we had chemistry. gray the sidewalk underfoot cast by a deadbeat moon. i could hear your torrid laughter echoed by the rain. separated by coffee and cigarettes. i could see a black cat at my feet had crossed my path three times now. what a price to pay.
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5. |
Crown of Shame
01:37
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place this noose around your neck. yeah, you’d look good hanging out like that but then everyone would try to cut you down. place these flowers on your head. it’s a crown of shame ‘till you’re fucking dead and the thorns are killing every way you lied. blood drips down and tarnishes your pride, but you don’t have the nerve to stick this out. can you just back out? oh, yeah. you’re never gonna straighten these things out. can i just black out? oh, yeah. sweep the black marks of your past through the tiny cracks in your kitchen floor but onto my fragments, you hold on so tight. you put yourself out on display. it’s broken and i bought it but i’ll pass it on to the carousel of shit your life becomes. once around, who’s on the other side?
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6. |
Do You Ever Do
02:06
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so i just want you to know there’s a place here in my heart. set aside for you, yeah, just for you but it’s full of rusty nails and broken razor blades. slowly stabbing me ‘till the day i die. so i’ll go and paint it grey from the inside to match the rest of me. they say it takes some time to get over it but do you ever do? the dark corners with webs hide the slow and steady ache that consume the rest of me. the rest of me. little reminders of you and, of course, some fuck you’s too. how they torture me so long, so quietly.
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7. |
Summer's Old
02:40
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summer’s old and it gets cold. so damn cold without you. i huff regrets through cigarettes. they penetrate my soul where the broken parts that used to thrill me are rusted out and trying to kill me and what once was good. since you left i’m a bloody mess with a blacker heart and a little note that you left for me. oh, the things that you left for me. cynical before i was done in. you look it up i’m the fucking definition of it. melancholia, pessimist! winter’s in full swing again. it’s still sunny california, but i don’t feel right every single night when i sleep with the lights on. i’m afraid of all the scary things like: waking up and walking out my own goddamn front door.
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8. |
Vonnegut
02:39
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got a pain that’s roaring in my head. it’s eating me alive. rotting out from the inside. so i’ve got to let this out. gonna to give it back to you. well, it’s the least that i can do to show i care. as i awake on the morning after, head pounding and sunken ego. shaky hands and palpitations. fucking up my motivation. i swore you’d return like you never left and kill off this disease, but i’ll just settle for a drink. feeling like a scarecrow with no brain. so shove me full of straw. or if that don’t ease the pain, start me on a drip. a glorious cocktail. ‘cuz baby i need something good to get me through this shit. you shower me with your, your cruel intentions were intentionally void of any sense of a meaning. don’t need to tell me now. don’t need to tell me how. how bad it hurts and this broken day won’t fucking let me be.
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9. |
Undead Army
02:27
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i feel the resistance. the shaking underground. oh, you’ve unleashed an army of undead on me somehow. i’ll stay awake at night and try. try to resist them. i’ll sleep with one eye open ‘till the coast is clear. or till i’m one of them. even though you’ve gone away, i’m getting closer every day to some semblance of sanity. or at least they tell me so. if i’m already one of them, the doctor’s scripts they took me there. she said to me, “don’t worry you won’t feel a thing.” gotta get away from here. we’re headed down mexico way. it’s a fucked up vacation. now i’m kinda stuck here for three or four days. “i don’t want you to go away. at the same time, i just can’t stay with you.” i’m locked out on the balcony and there’s one or two things keeping me from jumping. i’m coming apart at the skin. the raw meat on my skeleton. it says to you: i’ve gone the way of the undead. i hope to get a good head start but they can have my heart and those parts. just leave me at the pharmacy and i’ll survive.
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10. |
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can i rewrite this story? with one that ain’t so fucking boring? i’d put the pen down on the paper and i’d conceive a plot worth its weight in gold. and then i’d redraw these pictures that said i really fucking miss her. if i could start it all again i’d work some miracles and never let you down. but something tells me, even if i walked on water, it still wouldn’t please you. so i’ll take this bottle with two white pills. let it drench my heart until i wash away the memories of you. and the bittersweet panic attacks ‘till the day i get you off my back. i’m dying inside this room without a view. so let me rewind it further then, to when i’d never even met you. oh, i could take a different road and drive this wreck wherever i wanted to. would i crash it into a ditch? breakdown in the middle of nowhere? so tired of starting all again and working miracles to never let you down. yeah, something tells me, even if i walked on water, it still wouldn’t please you. so gimme hydrocodone, alprazolam please. i’ll chase it with two sips. it might not make things right, but i’ll make it through the night.
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11. |
The Dues
02:27
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you collected all your dues. screaming like a banshee. on the bathroom floor. the things you said to me with one foot out the door. i thought you were joking. i guess you’re choking now. jumped off a speeding train and broke some bones, but i didn’t really want to go. suspicions crept up like a bad movie villain. i didn’t even want to know. call off your infantry and please don’t launch your dirty bombs away. and i bottled everything. fermented like a shitty whiskey no one wants. broken bottles at my feet. who’s gonna clean it up? spilled on linoleum. i’ll just keep bruising, boozing, losing. i guess i’m moving on.
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12. |
Tired of Waking Up
03:18
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i’m tired of waking up on the same shitty side of i’m breaking up.” who was that ghost that i used to be and how’d he run away from me? well, i started sleeping in, i’d wander through the clouds to begin again. the only thing daydreaming ever served me: beloved melancholia. but despite burning the photographs, i can’t take my eyes off the pictures of the past. only the ocean knows the depths of that disease. i never grew tired of sleeping in but i got a little dose of your medicine. millions of times have i recycled this plastic, plastic me. overdose in the autumn and i emptied the guts of my heart into the air. even the windmills know that ending was a lie. oh, miss lauren dee. won’t you say that you’ll go with me? we could fly south, circumventing everything. we could build a life bigger than anything you know. ready, set, go. we’re coming so close to a perfect ending. we gotta find a way out, i know it’s wearing us out. i could render this city useless now. over the ocean’s where i’ll take you. we gotta find a way out from our original sins. without original doubt. we’re going over the edge. over the ocean’s where i’ll take you. “i’m tired of waking up on the same shitty side of i’m breaking up.” who was that ghost that i used to be and how’d he run away from me?
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13. |
Satellite
03:20
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i’m a satellite. burning out of your atmosphere. i watch the road slip away as i lose sight of the horizon. i was floating even further from the dark side of the moon. you were lost in orbit so many light years away. and when that final transmission came crackling through to me, i heard: “it’s all fucked, we’re floating away.” i’m a space walking man. burning oxygen and missing my home. i watch the earth slip away as i lose sight of the horizon. “it’s all fucked, we’re drifting away.”
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Wiretap Records Los Angeles, California
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